Tin Man pt. 2

Holy Moly Cannoli,

It's been a while since last post. Mainly because I forgot my password, but we're back! So much has happened.

1st, I'm happy to report that my father received his heart about 7 months ago and no rejection!

Now, here's a "quick" summary of everything that happened in between posts up until August 22, 2011 and a little after.

My cousin flew into Minnesota to care for my father after his LVAD procedure. She's was so adorable in the airport all bundled up! It was her first time in an airplane and her first time being in the snow. Little did she know, she'd see enough snow for two lifetimes. It was easily top 3 worst winters I've ever been apart of. The only thing colder than the weather, would be my father, once he got home. Part of it was the meds, but he was just unecessarily difficult, mean & controlling to her and I had to play peacekeeper. I knew that I would. I even told them that it wasn't gonna be easy, living together. Dad, getting used to that device and getting used to an entirely new set of dependency, which he never really grasped. Poor cuz, so bright and ready to help her favorite Uncle.

During her stay, whenever the snow permitted, I'd take her to a movie or around the TC, showing her sights and stuff she wouldn't see back in Mobile! I made the most of our time, getting to know my little cousin and what she was interested in. I get the feeling she doesn't have too many of these kinds of conversations, so she has a lot to share and it's great!

When she left in March, to go back to school, Dad managed on his own, but it wasn't hard to tell how much fun he was having schlepping that device everywhere. What's worse was him having to explain it wherever he goes. How often do you see a guy with a battery pack sticking out of his abdomen?

Fast forward to August, when he got the call. I get him to the hospital and we wait....

All the doctors are saying is that they need to check and see if the heart is a match, wherever the heart may be, staying optimistic. Also, the family has to give consent, which did not happen twice before. This time was different. After six hours, I was sleepy and decided to go home. Dad txt me when they took him to the OR. 7 hours later and he is in recovery. So the hard part is over, but it's just the beginning.

There were some major complications with the surgery, he lost a lot of blood. Pre existing conditions further complicated the surgery, but the body took to the heart, with no rejection. That was a major step, but unfortunately, the way the anti reject medicine works, it lowers your white blood cell count, your immune system, leaving you susceptible to all sorts of stuff and that's exactly what happened. The old man contracted a fungal infection in his chest and spread all over. They call it, Aspergillus and it's something not too many people pull from. Once they contain it, it takes forever to leave your system. Luckily, my father is a fighter. As I talked to the doctors about it, they looked so challeneged by it, never revealing how close dad was to the brink. Of course, I had more questions than answers and eventually I hit my breaking point with one of the doctors.

Family from all over poured in to see their brother, some haven't been here since the 80's. We're a prayerful family, but after seeing folks have the same transplant and walk out of hospital only a week later, I was conflicted. I didn't understand God's purpose for putting my father and family through this. Nothing made sense to me and when that happens, frustration and surliness sets in and whoever is in your path will feel it! Everybody told what a good son I am, but it actually made me feel uncomfortable. Being the 1st born comes with a special set of responsibilities. I had to be the communication between dad, his friends and family who couldn't be there. Telling the same story, keeping track of who to tell what is taxing. BTW, shout out to EVERYONE @ Abbott Northwestern Hospital! Not only are they THE BEST heart hospital in the country, but they are also the most generous! There'd be nights where a simple smile or brief conversation with a staff member got me through!

Tin Man

My dad's heart is so big, it's almost killed him! How ironic is that? Ever since he was diagnosed with Heart Failure and implanted with a defibrillator( which does the opposite of a pacemaker), 15 years ago, it's been a steady decline. From walking up the steps to going to the movies proved difficult for my father. He will eventually need a transplant, but right now he has a Left Ventricular Assist Device(LVAD). It's a pump that will increase blood flow through the body more efficiently, basically doing the job of the heart. With this device, he will not be as limited as before and will be able to do everyday tasks with even more stamina than before! That means he can fuss at me a little longer! Once his body gets used to it's new condition, he'll even be able to travel and visit family out in L.A.! Because of his age, overall health and the fact he has the device, he'll be on the PRIORITY list of transplants. Now that still means we're gonna have to wait, but it's better than the alternative.

It's been 10 days since the surgery and he's progressing just fine. The doctors, nurses are encouraged and that gives me piece of mind. My father feels like he's been hit by a truck. Anyone who knows anything knows how serious heart surgery is. He now has a pump the size of two hockey pucks(not as heavy) sitting underneath the ribcage and right on top of his abdomen. The pump is connected to the base of the heart and Aorta, with a main line coming out of his right side. This will be connected to a controller and two batteries, which he'll carry around in a case. With his body in such a delicate state, sterile changing is of utmost importance! It's gonna take a few observations to understand how to do it and he will not let him leave until I show them that I can do it. This hospital really is the best and the staff is top notch! Since he'll need round the clock coverage, while he gets his strength and heals, a few of us are being taught EVERYTHING about his device. From troubleshooting to reading the monitor to what to do if the power goes out!

I have allowed myself to be naive to a certain point regarding his condition, simply because of how independent he is. You'd think with a counter full of pills, he had it under control. Just the opposite. He'd call if he was somewhere and wasn't feeling right. I'd let him make the call if he needed to go into the hospital or not. I'll never forget the look on his face when I met him at the hospital back in April and he literally looked half dead. That was it for me and I just could not fight back the tears. There's nothing wrong with a good cry. Everyone should have one and I had mine in the middle of the hallway. My father came out the bathroom to see his oldest son in a puddle of weep. I wanted him to see how it was affecting me, how scared I was. You could certainly make the argument of selfishness on my part, but I have no regrets. He did what any father would and said what I needed to hear.


I have done what I could to be supportive. I make sure he sees my face everyday. I do it for me as much as I do it for him. I cherish the fact that we've gotten closer throughout this experience, yet there still seems to be a disconnect. He's got control issues, needing to know everything about everything and then why! He'll second guess the people who are paid to make sure he doesn't die!
He's a special case because he used to work in the medical device industry(well before his defibrillator), so he's got an extensive, no, expert knowledge of medical devices. He also will not hesitate to share his knowledge to anyone who'll listen. It's like knowing enough Spanish to watch Telemundo, does not make you fluent. Every now and again, I'll remind him he's not a doctor and to mind how he's talking to people. I coach the doctors, nurses and staff on how to deal with my dad, once he gets going. It's going to take adjustment on everyone's part!

I love that I can vent like this, because I normally don't share stuff like this aloud, because who the hell wants my shit on them and what can anybody do? Once my cousin gets here, I'll have a little more to type about....stay tuned

Moment of Pause #2: The Evolution

My 1st One-Niter
So in the last post, I mentioned answering the call. Well in late January, I had just written down a couple of new jokes/premises and felt pretty good about myself. I get a call that night from a comic inquiring about my availability to open for him in two days. I said yes without hesitation! $100, room and food! He asked if I'd ever done 30 min. before and I told him no but now's as good a time as any! My goal was to have 30 min. for spring, but I really feel this opportunity came when it did for a reason! So I get up to the casino early, get my room and start making a cheat sheet. Before the show, I met with comic and guy running the show. He tells us what not to say and starts the show. I knew the bar would be a problem, because I could hear the bar over the host. It was also more entertaining.
As I was on stage, I remembered my friend telling me how fast it would go. I didn't know he meant my material! I had my cheat sheet, factored in at least one applause break and thought I may even go over. Sure enough, I forgot how small I wrote and couldn't read my cheat sheet. The bar was louder and the crowd was sparse. I saw smiles, but heard few laughs. It got to the point where I asked where we were at, time wise and I got the "keep going" signal! People came in halfway through my set and I wanted to catch them up by telling the jokes they missed, just for them...in the interest of time! I was running on fumes, throwing half witted premises to the crowd. I finally got the cell light to wrap it up, that felt more like a chute being pulled. I crawled to 21 min. for my first feature act! I thanked the crowd and almost went straight home, but I had to collect the check. I spoke with the headliner for a while afterward, about what I needed to work on and how I can tweak this and that. It was comforting to know that he did 18 his first time, but he followed it up with how he built his 30 min., having to perform day after day, forcing himself to come up with fresh funny and it reminded me of how hard it's going to be. It was an overall encouraging trip! I needed to see where I was as a comic and how far I needed to go.

So CCU approached me to do a feature set with a fellow comic that I knew, trusted and felt comfortable working with. No reason to say no, so I prepared. Listening to my self recordings, trimming some fat and getting help here and there! I wanted to have enough material for 30 min., no question. It was different this time for numerous reasons. I had more experience. It was on my turf, so I felt a ton more comfortable with not only the venue and staff, but with my material! 40+ people showed up, so that was good. We had a first timer as an emcee and he struggled, which made my job a bit harder, because the crowd was so quiet! I get on and talk about random stuff from Avatar to my preference in weathermen! That was only the beginning. It fascinated me how much control I had over the crowd for the entire time. It was a new kind of feeling! I went over my time(31:25) and hadn't covered half the stuff I wanted to. When I'm finished, the headliner tells me I killed it and that was cool, but it was when my friend tells me that she thought I was just aight at first, but now her jaws hurt from laughing. That's the position I want people, laughing so hard that it hurts. I honestly wouldn't mind if someone pressed charges against me for making their sides hurt! !
The good people at CCU were kind enough to make me a copy of my feature set. I plan on showing this to the fam and friends.

It's been a couple weeks since and more folks are asking for my availability. That means I have more work to do, to stay fresh. I realize that the next 30 min. I do will be completely different than before and it will likely be in front of complete strangers again! I'll have more confidence this time. In myself and the material. It feels good to take this next step, but that's all that it is, a step. Nothing's happened, yet.

The Pledge

Ok, so 2009 had it's ups and downs, like any other year. I may do a reflection piece on '09 before it becomes irrelevant. Naw, there's been enough of people's opinion on this and that, best and worst for 2009. 2010 feels like a clean slate on some levels. I call different or important periods in our lives, chapters. With this new chapter, comes an opportunity to start new habits, while phasing out the bad ones. First ya gotta recognize them and some may need some help with that.




How Bad Do You Want It?
It's common that you see comics who, you feel have YOUR stage time and you know you are funnier than. Rather than pout and complain about it, which is too easy, you put that energy to perfecting what you have and take what's yours when the time is right. I know I have no place to say anything, because I haven't done anything, but when your number is called, you must answer the call! That is what I have to dedicate myself to, being ready. Time mgt. and discipline. A procrastinator's kryptonite.

While I have noticed some improvement, it's clear I have to write more to develop my voice. I have put aside some decent premises I may need to blow the dust off and look at again, because the crap I'm spewing on stage is getting boring and I'm forgetting why it's funny. This coming from a guy who doesn't go to NEARLY as many open mics as he needs to. I just haven't had as many braingasms lately that I can put on paper and work through. It's beyond frustrating.One practice I was told to try was one-liners, yet another handy tool for the novice. I have never tried that, but I will write out as many as I can think of( I really should become friends with Dwight York on Facebook, he's all about the one-liners). This will be something new I can try on stage along with crowd rap, because as much as I hate small talk, I'm great at it. The one-liners can help me develop some actual openers, savers and closers.

I recognize that I will have to limit or drop some of my vices all together to get where I need to be and it will be a struggle. I should dedicate an entire blog to "The Cleansing". Not enough space here to get into it that sort of post....

One of my goals is to have 30 min. of material by the spring. I don't know if it'll be 30 min. of killer, but 30 min. of what I got so far. It's going to to take a ton more work on my end and that is my pledge.
I'm still figuring out whom I can bounce ideas off of and write some stuff with. I love the tags I get from other comics who have heard my garbage and know I'll use it, because I need it at this point! The ones that make it look easy are the ones I need to hang around, because it will force me to step my game up.

A Certain (Stage) Presence About You.

So in an earlier post I typed about creating your own opportunity. Back in March, I approached a couple buddies who have a local bar and we talked about the potential of bringing comedy to St. Paul and how there's nothing really like it in the city. They decided to give it a go every third Friday. I stressed promoting and they got a sponsor(Yaaaay)! Our first show was in July and I had a good turn out. My dad even came out and introducing him to the comics has been one of the highlights so far. He's been to all but two. I booked over ten folks and it ran well over two hours. Couple "names" stopped by unexpectedly and I felt like crap because I couldn't give them time. I really wanted to, but I didn't have the onions to tell comics that I approached when I needed comics that they couldn't go up now. The people had a good time and the bar said it was one of the best nights in 3-4 months.
There are opportunities where I feel we can take advantage of, I know it's going to take persistence. Now, I have 6-7 comics I know the crowd will like and am saying no more often and it aint that bad.

I did a show up the road at a spot called Walking Jax and I wasn't really nervous. What helped is that I knew the other comics except for the headliner who was so nice! I kept thinking that I was the only comic that didn't have a head shot for the poster outside and couldn't help but wonder what the reaction would be once they got a load of me. I did well and returned back to some feedback by the older comics, jotted down on some paper. It actually helped. Then I sensed a disturbance in the force and noticed that this man walking toward me with that familiar walk was my dad! I told him I didn't expect him to show up and he said he knew. Easily one of the best moments of my life.

After hosting the Capitol City Comedy Show, I felt something was missing and it was bugging me the following day. That night I was hosting another show, but this one was special. Another comic had asked me to host his birthday show and it meant a lot to me. I took on an entirely different mindset. It was also a fellow comics first time doing 30, so this was a big deal all around. Before the show, my friend was telling me how nervous he was, having never done this before. That made me unecessarily nervous for a little bit, but I got over it a lot faster than him. I had to.
Minus the comics there were a grand total of 5 people looking to laugh! I ran through my set and saw I still had time, so I did some crowd rap. I had never done that before and it felt good. Afterwards, the feature told me that he didn't have a good feeling about going up until he heard the crowd open up. I was honored just be a part of the show. I had more fun at that show than my own!

One show was fun because it was in a nice setting, the host was cool and I was a fan of most of the comics. An old friend came to see me at a show. We caught up for a bit and he said that it encouraged him to keep following his dream. That meant a lot.

The Chili Bowl

Ok, so every year when the Vikings play the Packers, I have my friend come over and cook her famous chili, which is the best I've eaten, so far. I feel that way because it's just spicy enough that you can still enjoy it. The plan was to cook up the chili and let it simmer overnight. Now, I have to use some discretion because if you come over, you need to be about the game and/or the chili. So I invited some folks over that I knew would meet the criteria. More importantly, they had to mesh personally. Most important, they had to be Vikings fans and sing along with our fight song, Skol Vikings. The only exception would be Bill and that's because him being a Packer fan is just one of the rare things we disagree on. That and the use of steroids.
So my friend and I are on the way from the grocery store, coming around the corner I see there is a hole in my bedroom wall.


{I still have to sort through all my stuff to find the cord to link camera to computer, because you really have to see it to believe it. The pix are coming soon.}


My whole body went numb, like when your foot starts to fall asleep, not yet that prickly feeling. I was speechless and that aint easy to do. I was shocked, but not surprised and here's why.
(Back story)
I have a crazy neighbor who has a ridiculous history of just walking into people's apartments for whatever reason. She's done it once since I have lived here. she came frantically knocking on my door once. She came in breathing heavy, with a worried look on her face. She desperately claimed to need help zipping up a coat that she wasn't even wearing. She will go into her garage, which is located directly across from where I lay my head at night( A-Ha!), start her car and rev up the engine. Like she wanted to leave but it was in neutral. She'll then turn the car off and come back inside. It's not like it was winter and she wanted to warm the car up, she just was losing it. Even the other neighbors tell me that she's touched in the head.
(Back to now)
I knew that she was a threat to not only herself, but to the other tenants and this was even more proof. I spoke with eyewitnesses that said they could see her from the other end of driveway. She said she came at it full go and saw that something was broken. She then pulled back into the garage just as fast. I noticed she sure did, but left her bumper in my bedroom. As my friend contacted the lady's next of kin and police, I checked inside. I never felt so vulnerable, as I went through the damage and could hear everything going on outside, like I never left. As I was taking pictures of the outside, the old lady wanted to get back into the car to see if it worked. My fiend and the eyewitness talked her out of it. I used my camera phone to record it. I wanted to document everything I could.
The cops couldn't believe it when they checked it out and took pictures. One of them told me that she clearly has dementia and shouldn't have had keys to a car. She has had the cops called on her before because of a disturbance. Her son came and looked grizzled and ashamed. He barely looked me in the eye or even offered an apology.
After the initial shock and anger of it, I took a step outside of myself and realized that this guy has to deal with his mother who is now a shell of her formal self. He is seriously gonna have to look into assisted living for her and he didn't look like he could afford it. As I am typing this, she still lives in the complex and still puts a rock down to hold the door open while she gets her mail...one day, I decided to kick that rock.
Everyone that came to The Chili Bowl took snapshots of the wreckage and it was the conversation starter, ice breaker and go to moment of the night! For a temporary inconvenience, I got new A/C, windows and carpet out of the deal. Was also able to take care of some bills!

It's been a while....

So, my last post was back in July and I had a little over 400 "friends" on facebook. Well since then, that number has gone up at least 200, so I have obviously been whoring myself around, being anyone's "friend" and letting them poke me. I have seen and done some things, hopefully making me a little better than the last time I typed.

It's been many moons since you last read about me. I have since, hit a milestone in my comedic journey. I started a monthly comedy show back home in St. Paul and there's nothing like it around! I got a job moving & selling dirt at a landscaping company and I'm convinced that it's the only job where the customers are as dumb as the product(I'm here all night, folks). An old lady drove her Plymouth Sundance through my bedroom wall, but it didn't keep me from hosting another kickass Chili Bowl... the next day! Tried improve, didn't do nearly as much writing as I should. Got interviewed about comedy for the first time and have met a few more people that can help me get to the next level. I even met a man who asked me if I beleived in spiritual gifts and proceeded to tell me that I'm here for a reason. I'm telling you, it was like The Oracle came to me instead if me going to her like in the movie. Needless to say, I've made a few revelations since the summer.