My dad's heart is so big, it's almost killed him! How ironic is that? Ever since he was diagnosed with Heart Failure and implanted with a defibrillator( which does the opposite of a pacemaker), 15 years ago, it's been a steady decline. From walking up the steps to going to the movies proved difficult for my father. He will eventually need a transplant, but right now he has a Left Ventricular Assist Device(LVAD). It's a pump that will increase blood flow through the body more efficiently, basically doing the job of the heart. With this device, he will not be as limited as before and will be able to do everyday tasks with even more stamina than before! That means he can fuss at me a little longer! Once his body gets used to it's new condition, he'll even be able to travel and visit family out in L.A.! Because of his age, overall health and the fact he has the device, he'll be on the PRIORITY list of transplants. Now that still means we're gonna have to wait, but it's better than the alternative.
It's been 10 days since the surgery and he's progressing just fine. The doctors, nurses are encouraged and that gives me piece of mind. My father feels like he's been hit by a truck. Anyone who knows anything knows how serious heart surgery is. He now has a pump the size of two hockey pucks(not as heavy) sitting underneath the ribcage and right on top of his abdomen. The pump is connected to the base of the heart and Aorta, with a main line coming out of his right side. This will be connected to a controller and two batteries, which he'll carry around in a case. With his body in such a delicate state, sterile changing is of utmost importance! It's gonna take a few observations to understand how to do it and he will not let him leave until I show them that I can do it. This hospital really is the best and the staff is top notch! Since he'll need round the clock coverage, while he gets his strength and heals, a few of us are being taught EVERYTHING about his device. From troubleshooting to reading the monitor to what to do if the power goes out!
I have allowed myself to be naive to a certain point regarding his condition, simply because of how independent he is. You'd think with a counter full of pills, he had it under control. Just the opposite. He'd call if he was somewhere and wasn't feeling right. I'd let him make the call if he needed to go into the hospital or not. I'll never forget the look on his face when I met him at the hospital back in April and he literally looked half dead. That was it for me and I just could not fight back the tears. There's nothing wrong with a good cry. Everyone should have one and I had mine in the middle of the hallway. My father came out the bathroom to see his oldest son in a puddle of weep. I wanted him to see how it was affecting me, how scared I was. You could certainly make the argument of selfishness on my part, but I have no regrets. He did what any father would and said what I needed to hear.
I have done what I could to be supportive. I make sure he sees my face everyday. I do it for me as much as I do it for him. I cherish the fact that we've gotten closer throughout this experience, yet there still seems to be a disconnect. He's got control issues, needing to know everything about everything and then why! He'll second guess the people who are paid to make sure he doesn't die!
He's a special case because he used to work in the medical device industry(well before his defibrillator), so he's got an extensive, no, expert knowledge of medical devices. He also will not hesitate to share his knowledge to anyone who'll listen. It's like knowing enough Spanish to watch Telemundo, does not make you fluent. Every now and again, I'll remind him he's not a doctor and to mind how he's talking to people. I coach the doctors, nurses and staff on how to deal with my dad, once he gets going. It's going to take adjustment on everyone's part!
I love that I can vent like this, because I normally don't share stuff like this aloud, because who the hell wants my shit on them and what can anybody do? Once my cousin gets here, I'll have a little more to type about....stay tuned
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