My dad's heart is so big, it's almost killed him! How ironic is that? Ever since he was diagnosed with Heart Failure and implanted with a defibrillator( which does the opposite of a pacemaker), 15 years ago, it's been a steady decline. From walking up the steps to going to the movies proved difficult for my father. He will eventually need a transplant, but right now he has a Left Ventricular Assist Device(LVAD). It's a pump that will increase blood flow through the body more efficiently, basically doing the job of the heart. With this device, he will not be as limited as before and will be able to do everyday tasks with even more stamina than before! That means he can fuss at me a little longer! Once his body gets used to it's new condition, he'll even be able to travel and visit family out in L.A.! Because of his age, overall health and the fact he has the device, he'll be on the PRIORITY list of transplants. Now that still means we're gonna have to wait, but it's better than the alternative.
It's been 10 days since the surgery and he's progressing just fine. The doctors, nurses are encouraged and that gives me piece of mind. My father feels like he's been hit by a truck. Anyone who knows anything knows how serious heart surgery is. He now has a pump the size of two hockey pucks(not as heavy) sitting underneath the ribcage and right on top of his abdomen. The pump is connected to the base of the heart and Aorta, with a main line coming out of his right side. This will be connected to a controller and two batteries, which he'll carry around in a case. With his body in such a delicate state, sterile changing is of utmost importance! It's gonna take a few observations to understand how to do it and he will not let him leave until I show them that I can do it. This hospital really is the best and the staff is top notch! Since he'll need round the clock coverage, while he gets his strength and heals, a few of us are being taught EVERYTHING about his device. From troubleshooting to reading the monitor to what to do if the power goes out!
I have allowed myself to be naive to a certain point regarding his condition, simply because of how independent he is. You'd think with a counter full of pills, he had it under control. Just the opposite. He'd call if he was somewhere and wasn't feeling right. I'd let him make the call if he needed to go into the hospital or not. I'll never forget the look on his face when I met him at the hospital back in April and he literally looked half dead. That was it for me and I just could not fight back the tears. There's nothing wrong with a good cry. Everyone should have one and I had mine in the middle of the hallway. My father came out the bathroom to see his oldest son in a puddle of weep. I wanted him to see how it was affecting me, how scared I was. You could certainly make the argument of selfishness on my part, but I have no regrets. He did what any father would and said what I needed to hear.
I have done what I could to be supportive. I make sure he sees my face everyday. I do it for me as much as I do it for him. I cherish the fact that we've gotten closer throughout this experience, yet there still seems to be a disconnect. He's got control issues, needing to know everything about everything and then why! He'll second guess the people who are paid to make sure he doesn't die!
He's a special case because he used to work in the medical device industry(well before his defibrillator), so he's got an extensive, no, expert knowledge of medical devices. He also will not hesitate to share his knowledge to anyone who'll listen. It's like knowing enough Spanish to watch Telemundo, does not make you fluent. Every now and again, I'll remind him he's not a doctor and to mind how he's talking to people. I coach the doctors, nurses and staff on how to deal with my dad, once he gets going. It's going to take adjustment on everyone's part!
I love that I can vent like this, because I normally don't share stuff like this aloud, because who the hell wants my shit on them and what can anybody do? Once my cousin gets here, I'll have a little more to type about....stay tuned
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Moment of Pause #2: The Evolution
My 1st One-Niter
So in the last post, I mentioned answering the call. Well in late January, I had just written down a couple of new jokes/premises and felt pretty good about myself. I get a call that night from a comic inquiring about my availability to open for him in two days. I said yes without hesitation! $100, room and food! He asked if I'd ever done 30 min. before and I told him no but now's as good a time as any! My goal was to have 30 min. for spring, but I really feel this opportunity came when it did for a reason! So I get up to the casino early, get my room and start making a cheat sheet. Before the show, I met with comic and guy running the show. He tells us what not to say and starts the show. I knew the bar would be a problem, because I could hear the bar over the host. It was also more entertaining.
As I was on stage, I remembered my friend telling me how fast it would go. I didn't know he meant my material! I had my cheat sheet, factored in at least one applause break and thought I may even go over. Sure enough, I forgot how small I wrote and couldn't read my cheat sheet. The bar was louder and the crowd was sparse. I saw smiles, but heard few laughs. It got to the point where I asked where we were at, time wise and I got the "keep going" signal! People came in halfway through my set and I wanted to catch them up by telling the jokes they missed, just for them...in the interest of time! I was running on fumes, throwing half witted premises to the crowd. I finally got the cell light to wrap it up, that felt more like a chute being pulled. I crawled to 21 min. for my first feature act! I thanked the crowd and almost went straight home, but I had to collect the check. I spoke with the headliner for a while afterward, about what I needed to work on and how I can tweak this and that. It was comforting to know that he did 18 his first time, but he followed it up with how he built his 30 min., having to perform day after day, forcing himself to come up with fresh funny and it reminded me of how hard it's going to be. It was an overall encouraging trip! I needed to see where I was as a comic and how far I needed to go.
So CCU approached me to do a feature set with a fellow comic that I knew, trusted and felt comfortable working with. No reason to say no, so I prepared. Listening to my self recordings, trimming some fat and getting help here and there! I wanted to have enough material for 30 min., no question. It was different this time for numerous reasons. I had more experience. It was on my turf, so I felt a ton more comfortable with not only the venue and staff, but with my material! 40+ people showed up, so that was good. We had a first timer as an emcee and he struggled, which made my job a bit harder, because the crowd was so quiet! I get on and talk about random stuff from Avatar to my preference in weathermen! That was only the beginning. It fascinated me how much control I had over the crowd for the entire time. It was a new kind of feeling! I went over my time(31:25) and hadn't covered half the stuff I wanted to. When I'm finished, the headliner tells me I killed it and that was cool, but it was when my friend tells me that she thought I was just aight at first, but now her jaws hurt from laughing. That's the position I want people, laughing so hard that it hurts. I honestly wouldn't mind if someone pressed charges against me for making their sides hurt! !
The good people at CCU were kind enough to make me a copy of my feature set. I plan on showing this to the fam and friends.
It's been a couple weeks since and more folks are asking for my availability. That means I have more work to do, to stay fresh. I realize that the next 30 min. I do will be completely different than before and it will likely be in front of complete strangers again! I'll have more confidence this time. In myself and the material. It feels good to take this next step, but that's all that it is, a step. Nothing's happened, yet.
So in the last post, I mentioned answering the call. Well in late January, I had just written down a couple of new jokes/premises and felt pretty good about myself. I get a call that night from a comic inquiring about my availability to open for him in two days. I said yes without hesitation! $100, room and food! He asked if I'd ever done 30 min. before and I told him no but now's as good a time as any! My goal was to have 30 min. for spring, but I really feel this opportunity came when it did for a reason! So I get up to the casino early, get my room and start making a cheat sheet. Before the show, I met with comic and guy running the show. He tells us what not to say and starts the show. I knew the bar would be a problem, because I could hear the bar over the host. It was also more entertaining.
As I was on stage, I remembered my friend telling me how fast it would go. I didn't know he meant my material! I had my cheat sheet, factored in at least one applause break and thought I may even go over. Sure enough, I forgot how small I wrote and couldn't read my cheat sheet. The bar was louder and the crowd was sparse. I saw smiles, but heard few laughs. It got to the point where I asked where we were at, time wise and I got the "keep going" signal! People came in halfway through my set and I wanted to catch them up by telling the jokes they missed, just for them...in the interest of time! I was running on fumes, throwing half witted premises to the crowd. I finally got the cell light to wrap it up, that felt more like a chute being pulled. I crawled to 21 min. for my first feature act! I thanked the crowd and almost went straight home, but I had to collect the check. I spoke with the headliner for a while afterward, about what I needed to work on and how I can tweak this and that. It was comforting to know that he did 18 his first time, but he followed it up with how he built his 30 min., having to perform day after day, forcing himself to come up with fresh funny and it reminded me of how hard it's going to be. It was an overall encouraging trip! I needed to see where I was as a comic and how far I needed to go.
So CCU approached me to do a feature set with a fellow comic that I knew, trusted and felt comfortable working with. No reason to say no, so I prepared. Listening to my self recordings, trimming some fat and getting help here and there! I wanted to have enough material for 30 min., no question. It was different this time for numerous reasons. I had more experience. It was on my turf, so I felt a ton more comfortable with not only the venue and staff, but with my material! 40+ people showed up, so that was good. We had a first timer as an emcee and he struggled, which made my job a bit harder, because the crowd was so quiet! I get on and talk about random stuff from Avatar to my preference in weathermen! That was only the beginning. It fascinated me how much control I had over the crowd for the entire time. It was a new kind of feeling! I went over my time(31:25) and hadn't covered half the stuff I wanted to. When I'm finished, the headliner tells me I killed it and that was cool, but it was when my friend tells me that she thought I was just aight at first, but now her jaws hurt from laughing. That's the position I want people, laughing so hard that it hurts. I honestly wouldn't mind if someone pressed charges against me for making their sides hurt! !
The good people at CCU were kind enough to make me a copy of my feature set. I plan on showing this to the fam and friends.
It's been a couple weeks since and more folks are asking for my availability. That means I have more work to do, to stay fresh. I realize that the next 30 min. I do will be completely different than before and it will likely be in front of complete strangers again! I'll have more confidence this time. In myself and the material. It feels good to take this next step, but that's all that it is, a step. Nothing's happened, yet.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Pledge
Ok, so 2009 had it's ups and downs, like any other year. I may do a reflection piece on '09 before it becomes irrelevant. Naw, there's been enough of people's opinion on this and that, best and worst for 2009. 2010 feels like a clean slate on some levels. I call different or important periods in our lives, chapters. With this new chapter, comes an opportunity to start new habits, while phasing out the bad ones. First ya gotta recognize them and some may need some help with that.
How Bad Do You Want It?
It's common that you see comics who, you feel have YOUR stage time and you know you are funnier than. Rather than pout and complain about it, which is too easy, you put that energy to perfecting what you have and take what's yours when the time is right. I know I have no place to say anything, because I haven't done anything, but when your number is called, you must answer the call! That is what I have to dedicate myself to, being ready. Time mgt. and discipline. A procrastinator's kryptonite.
While I have noticed some improvement, it's clear I have to write more to develop my voice. I have put aside some decent premises I may need to blow the dust off and look at again, because the crap I'm spewing on stage is getting boring and I'm forgetting why it's funny. This coming from a guy who doesn't go to NEARLY as many open mics as he needs to. I just haven't had as many braingasms lately that I can put on paper and work through. It's beyond frustrating.One practice I was told to try was one-liners, yet another handy tool for the novice. I have never tried that, but I will write out as many as I can think of( I really should become friends with Dwight York on Facebook, he's all about the one-liners). This will be something new I can try on stage along with crowd rap, because as much as I hate small talk, I'm great at it. The one-liners can help me develop some actual openers, savers and closers.
I recognize that I will have to limit or drop some of my vices all together to get where I need to be and it will be a struggle. I should dedicate an entire blog to "The Cleansing". Not enough space here to get into it that sort of post....
One of my goals is to have 30 min. of material by the spring. I don't know if it'll be 30 min. of killer, but 30 min. of what I got so far. It's going to to take a ton more work on my end and that is my pledge.
I'm still figuring out whom I can bounce ideas off of and write some stuff with. I love the tags I get from other comics who have heard my garbage and know I'll use it, because I need it at this point! The ones that make it look easy are the ones I need to hang around, because it will force me to step my game up.
How Bad Do You Want It?
It's common that you see comics who, you feel have YOUR stage time and you know you are funnier than. Rather than pout and complain about it, which is too easy, you put that energy to perfecting what you have and take what's yours when the time is right. I know I have no place to say anything, because I haven't done anything, but when your number is called, you must answer the call! That is what I have to dedicate myself to, being ready. Time mgt. and discipline. A procrastinator's kryptonite.
While I have noticed some improvement, it's clear I have to write more to develop my voice. I have put aside some decent premises I may need to blow the dust off and look at again, because the crap I'm spewing on stage is getting boring and I'm forgetting why it's funny. This coming from a guy who doesn't go to NEARLY as many open mics as he needs to. I just haven't had as many braingasms lately that I can put on paper and work through. It's beyond frustrating.One practice I was told to try was one-liners, yet another handy tool for the novice. I have never tried that, but I will write out as many as I can think of( I really should become friends with Dwight York on Facebook, he's all about the one-liners). This will be something new I can try on stage along with crowd rap, because as much as I hate small talk, I'm great at it. The one-liners can help me develop some actual openers, savers and closers.
I recognize that I will have to limit or drop some of my vices all together to get where I need to be and it will be a struggle. I should dedicate an entire blog to "The Cleansing". Not enough space here to get into it that sort of post....
One of my goals is to have 30 min. of material by the spring. I don't know if it'll be 30 min. of killer, but 30 min. of what I got so far. It's going to to take a ton more work on my end and that is my pledge.
I'm still figuring out whom I can bounce ideas off of and write some stuff with. I love the tags I get from other comics who have heard my garbage and know I'll use it, because I need it at this point! The ones that make it look easy are the ones I need to hang around, because it will force me to step my game up.
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